Guys, parenting is hard.
Every stage of the game is hard.
Right now, I am about to enter the toddler world and I am terrified.
Baby life was exhausting and stressful but, I embraced the challenge despite the fears I had about motherhood because cuddling him all day long felt so blissful.
Things are changing muy rapido, he’s moving, he’s talking and he is finally becoming a little human. He is no longer my little baby boy.
Every day I feel like I’m playing a guessing game and praying to the powers above that I am making the right choices.
For a while, I wanted to be the perfect parent, that didn’t make any mistakes, always has a happy, easy-going, loving child and I am not trying to brag here, but my son has literally been an angel for me thus far. He is exactly what I wanted. A happy, easy going, loving baby. But, he is still a baby his personality has just begun to peak out. I can’t deny that I am nervous for what is in store.
I am an observer by nature, I am always observing parents to see how they handle certain situations so I can learn and get ideas on what I would like to do with Elijah and what I would not do.
I reached out to one of Elijah’s aunts recently, “I have no idea what I am doing”, I said to her. I wanted some advice, I’m always wondering how she does it, she reminded me of my mother. Super dedicated to motherhood, yet unlike my mother did, she manages to maintain her own life outside of her children. How does she do it ? I kept asking myself. How does she know what to do? She is a super mom, I needed her to share the secret !
And she did.
“The truth is I don’t think any of us have a clue what we’re doing… just know you are a wonderful mother! Do what works best for you and your family.”
It hit me right then and there.
Just like most of my life, I was putting way too much pressure on myself to be “something”. I had to be the perfect the mother, I had to reach some kind of super mom status. The fact is, I am a super mom. We are all super moms. Whether you birthed natural, via c-section, or adopted, if you survived a full year with a screaming, pooping, babbling infant, you have reached super hero status. Only super beings can function on no sleep and still manage to make it through the day.
We need to relax on the pressure we put on ourselves, and enjoy the moments with our children. None of us know what we are doing, that’s a fact. It is all trial and error. Forget those parenting books, they are just giant books full of suggestions, read them, take what you think you need from them and then “do what is best for YOU and your family”
We always forget about ourselves. We must learn to focus on ourself just as much as we do our children. Be your child’s biggest role model.
You are a super human!
“Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.”
I kept worrying about making the right choices on how to raise Elijah, what values and morals I wanted to instil in him, I kept thinking about what kind of person I wanted him to be. How do I raise him to be clean, happy, compassionate, dedicated, strong, free-spirited.
I have to be those things.
I love my baby boy, he is making me step up to the plate and be the person I was meant to be.
I have to grow, I have to become the best version of myself, for both of us.
As his Aunty always says,
“Make good choices”
It is time for me to make good choices and keep pushing forward for our family.